Here we are, staring down the barrel of another holiday season. Your list of things to do is only slightly shorter than the list of gifts left to buy. Your plans for making blankets for all your friends have disappeared in a cloud of fabric cuttings and half-sewn backing.

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And now you're hungry. More importantly, the kids are hungry. They're making pointed suggestions involving trips to places with plastic seats and rubber food, where the ball jump has more nutritional value than the food.

So what's a parent to do? Punt? Pack 'em up and head for the arches?

Well, probably at least once this season, yes. And for that sin you are forgiven in advance. I grant thee culinary absolution, o ye who commits one Whopper of a sin.

How about pizza? For less than $10, and in about the time it takes the pizza guy to show up at your door, you can have hot, fresh pizza coming from your oven. All it takes is a tiny bit of work ahead of time.

Now, I'm going to beg the indulgence of my Italian or pizza-purist friends out there. We're going to use pizza crust mix. Remember: we're talking about holiday-battered minds. The less steps we have to deal with, the better.

First, the shopping list:

2 packages pizza crust mix
1 jar pizza sauce
Deli meat of your choice
Fresh mushrooms (or whatever veggie topping you desire)
Shredded "pizza" cheese

Mix warm water with the crust mix as per directions in a glass bowl. Cover the bowl with a dishcloth and allow it to stand in at room temperature for 30 to 45 minutes (this is that tiny bit of work ahead of time we were talking about).

Preheat the oven to the temperature specified on the crust mix package (usually 375° to 425° F.).

If you don't have a pizza pan, spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray, then press the dough evenly into the pan, stretching it and rolling slightly on the edges to make a crust.

Spread the pizza sauce LIGHTLY over the crust. You do not have to use the entire jar. Sauce is an accent, not the major ingredient.

Scatter a moderate amount of cheese onto the sauce. Don't go for a complete cover. Apply your meats and veggies in a fairly regular pattern. The idea is that any slice should get at least a taste of each topping. If using pepperoni, save it for the final step.

Cover the meats and veggies generously with cheese. If using pepperoni, place it on top of the cheese.

Bake until the edge crust is browned and cheese is bubbling all the way through the center, 12-16 minutes. Eat and resume wrapping my presents.

Even Quicker!

Say the kids' hollering has gotten to the point that you're starting to contemplate calling the gypsies and asking if they can work a package deal to buy all the rugrats at once. You want food you can have in front of them in minutes, but that's got more nutritional content than anything coming out of a cardboard container with adorable cartoon characters plastered all over it.

Advance Brands, the nice folks who brought us Cheeseburger Fingers and frozen Philly Cheesesteaks back in the summer, have come through again, and this may be their finest hour.

To their Fast Fixin' Restaurant Style line, they've added fully cooked beef burgers, bacon cheeseburgers and mushroom-swiss burgers.

These are NOT the watery, vaguely meatlike objects you've tasted in microwave burgers before. These come out after three minutes in the microwave with a taste like they were just over hot charcoal. They even have that tasty crust! The bacon cheeseburgers were, of course, my favorite. But perhaps the most surprising were the regular beef burgers.

Often, frozen food makers will camouflage poor-quality basics, like beef, with lots of heavy flavors. I was prepared for the beef burgers to be somewhat less than homemade quality but, to be honest, I wish every one of my homemade patties turned out as good as these.

Advance Brands are available in the freezer sections of many major food stores. If you can't find them, talk to your grocery manager.

Previous Stories:

• Nov. 18, 2004: Waiting For The Bird
• Nov. 12, 2004: The Tale Of The (Fried) Turkey
• Nov. 5, 2004: Cleaning Out The Fridge
• Oct. 29, 2004: Make Simple, Fun Halloween Treats
• Oct. 15, 2004: Oniony Goodness
• Oct. 8, 2004: Edible Discoveries
• Oct. 1, 2004: Ice Cream Travelogue
• Sep. 24, 2004: Geaux Fish
• Sep. 17, 2004:In Praise Of Ice Cream
• Sep. 10, 2004: Building Your Storm Pantry